June Javier

• Transcript

  Speaker 1 [00:00:00] I think it's reporting. Okay. Also, I'm going to also start recording until if you're okay with that. Yep. Recording in progress. And I was wondering if you're ready for the release form. Yeah, I just need the electronics for it because I don't have a I don't have a printer for it. Yeah, you can totally do that after the interview. Okay. Yeah, don't worry about that. But we need the release form from you in order to have this project. Okay, We could do that. We could do that after that, so. Okay. Okay. Are you ready to begin? We. We're going to be more like a conversation rather than, like, we interviewing you. Like a job. It's not like a job. It's like you. You telling us this story. Okay, [00:01:07]so what is your full name? My name is actually Florence June Javier. [4.6s] Beautiful. How old are you? [00:01:20]I just turned 60. [0.8s] So what year were you born? 1963. Okay. [00:01:30]Where do you currently live? I live in Etobicoke, in Ontario. [4.9s] That's it. Okay. Go. Okay. Okay, cool. I have my consent for this. Well, actually, it's also part of Toronto. It's just an older name for it. Right. All right. Yeah, I know Mia, which is part of our group or Friendship Society Group. Yeah, I heard a lot about that society group, because my partner is not a man. His daughter is my partner. Yeah. So [00:02:14]what's your current occupation? Right now, I'm retired. [3.1s] Okay. [00:02:23]What did you want to be when you were younger? [2.5s] Oh, well, lots of things, actually. Can I just pause for a minute? Just deal with it. No problem. No, it's just that I don't want to get any calls. Right. Right. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, well, I didn't want to be when I was younger. There's lots of things, but none of them involve going abroad. Okay. Yeah. I wanted to be a teacher or nurse. And then I found that I just was a singer performer and sing on stage, actually. Okay. Did you say none of them required going abroad? Yeah, actually, before my time, [00:03:13]when I was much younger and coming from a actually underprivileged country, going abroad was like reaching for the stars f or that. Only the rich can do. [12.3s] So, yeah. [00:03:30]So it really occurred in my mind to go abroad until I was like 13, 14 when I started having friends from Canada in the U.S. and they described the country. [13.6s] Was there anything that sparked your interest to go abroad as, maybe a specific memory? Well, yeah, actually, [00:03:57]when I started realizing I really wanted to go abroad, I focused on my. In my college days. The only really, really easy subject for me, of course, for me was computers. [18.6s] Back then, computers were relatively new and I wanted to be more affiliated with computer language because I found it so easy, like child's play. [00:04:28]So I concentrated on that, and then I became a tutor in the computer room, and one of my students was a travel agent, which asked me if I ever had any dreams of living abroad like U.S. Canada. And she said it would be easy for you to go to Canada. [18.8s] And then I was talking about requirements and eligibility, and she said, You're only about three years experience. I thought about it. Ten years later, I was traveling. I had. [00:05:03]I started the family at twenty-six years old and there was already three of my kids when we actually came (to Canada). But the different thing about that is I didn't really target Canada just for the job or the opportunities for income. It was when my youngest was born. That's my youngest child. The only boy was born. He had a few issues with his heart and we couldn't determine what was wrong with him. I went to the Philippine Heart Center and they told me he will need about six surgeries to correct the issues in his heart. And I was thinking by the time I would finish the six surgeries, I'd probably be bankrupt. [48.1s] So I thought of Ways and Means and [00:05:54]I started researching and my top three choices were Canada, New Zealand and Australia just because not only for the opportunity for income but also the health care for those countries. So I started with Canada for my application. A friend helped me out put the things together [22.5s] and she told me, When you go to the embassy. You just have to say you're a potential applicant. In their words, you're very document. So what I did was when I got to the embassy, I said, I'm a provincial applicant. And then she took my documents and then she asked me if I had my kids with me. And then she asked me if I could come back for an interview that afternoon. And so I said, Sure. Well, I went back for the interview and it was a two hour interview on a Friday. At the same time, they were communicating with another person who was verifying my credentials and my references. And then at the end of the interview, she said, If you get your kids with you, don't go back to the province until you have had your medical. Medical exams. So I called my friend that evening, said I don't drive fast or not or anything like that. She told me to do my medical before going back and then she said, No. Congratulations, You got it. I said, Well, she didn't say that. Well, you got it. They won't send you to Medical. If you are not accepted. So. [00:07:43]So it was like I didn't realize it was that easy. Because the thing is, I've been working in it for so long, and for that amount of time I was already in my own computer business just building systems, building hardware and teaching people. So those two components for people were hardware and software. So I got all three of those and I was already seven years in the business. But by that time I'd been in the computer area for about ten, 12 years maybe. So that made it easy for the point system in Canada. So it's not as high as other people would have. But of course, there's always baggage. There was my son and he was a year and a half when he traveled. Finally I got so we became landed in rows. I got five landing papers. For every single one of us, one each. So we traveled to Canada six months after that. It was hard at first because when we got here, of course you don't know anybody and you have a limited amount of money. You've got to do something real quick. And of course, it was a culture shock. [80.8s] For the first time in years back home, when I was in the business, I had. Household help. I had my assistant, I had my technician. So this is just one my home. So when I got here the first time I did, I was fine as I was with the three kids and all the clothes and they didn't know what to do. There was a lady there who showed me how to operate the washing machine and what I needed to do to operate the dryer as well as I needed to have. But I was literally crying the laundry. So, you know, when you go from like I'm a self-made person and really, really proud of that, but when I got here, it was like resetting. And now I don't have a household help and I don't have my nannies. I don't have a pension. I don't have an assistant. And I have to do everything basically on my own. So I can like that was I understand that in a different sense because I flew from the Philippines to study here. I did have family help and I was and my parents helped me. Yeah, that's really touching to hear about your kids. To Canada, I guess, in your in your twenties. No, there was already with this. I was already 25 when I was speaking with your subjects computer courses. So ten years later I was traveling here with my three kids, my ex-husband. I also brought him along because he said I needed help with the kids and like he found a job for us. But it's not really like a job Job is this like job here and their survival? I think that was second goal. And for me, what I did was I didn't need ESL, but I took it because I knew I needed some certification somehow. So I said, okay, I'll take that, and then they'll take the computer course with it. And my kids were put into daycare and they had the high priority in daycare that was able to move a little bit. I had other jobs, like being a translator for a translation company. What they did was you translate for the insurance adjusters. That's only because I know three or four. Certainly no dialysis. So I needed a person like that. So that was my first job. They realized that I went into ESL and then I was hired by a financial corporation for like within six months. That was my second job interview in about it. But then two weeks later, a government job opened for the Y2K. I was here in 1998 and it was 1999 when I got that job, because they needed computer people, systems and systems people to deal with the Y2K. And I have had a lot of experience with changing or updating dates in my previous business. So two weeks into the Financial Corp., I went for an interview in the government posting, and I got it as well. They offered me. It was I mean, this was an entry level they needed, but because of my experience, they offered me a systems officer job. So I took it. I had to quit the other one at the same time. I was pregnant with my fourth lady. But it's it's just a little I'm used to working with while pregnant because I've been working the business. You know, when you're in business or Philippines, that's 24/7 and 365 days and doesn't matter if you're pregnant or you're having a baby or so it's. So that didn't stop me from working. So we prepared everything for the systems for Y2K, like it's easy for the job. [00:13:44]The thing that was really remarkable, I think, is more my experience with my my youngest, because at the same time, she had. Numerous appointments with SickKids Hospital were brought in. My youngest, the one that I was pregnant with, she only lasted 24 days. She had she died of a pertussis whooping cough. So I lost her 24 days alive. So that was a dent in running my psyche. And then my son exhibited the same, same symptoms. So I brought him to SickKids. This is where my baby died. And the kids. And we retained the same social worker. And then maybe a few a year later, after he arrived, he had had his first heart surgery for open heart surgery. And then from there. They tested our. It was a genetic mutation, apparently, and they tested everybody's DNA to find out where it came from. But he didn't get it from anyone. His genes just started to mutate on their own. And there was a micro deletion in this chromosome. [91.5s] And actually after that, there were a lot of things that were addressed. [00:15:23]So in between work, why are the kids at home? And then my youngest became routine actually all the years until they all finished high school. And my son, we kept on going to SickKids. He was eventually referred to Toronto because he became an adult. And then he unfortunately, his heart was really, really. That being enlarged. And he had a single kidney that could not perform any longer. So that worked against him. And he died in 2021. [45.4s] I'm really sorry to hear that. But he was the first and proposed reason why I came. And like I said, there were three choices for the Healthcare Canada, New Zealand and Australia. But he he died. He just turned 24. And nine days after he passed away, his heart was so enlarged. After the autopsy, I asked him to do an autopsy on vision and I asked them to publish the findings because I see I built a group on Facebook for parents, caregivers and patients who have the same syndrome. And there's not a lot of. Documentation out there for someone like him or for someone who had who has what he had. And then I asked the medical community to publish it for the parents and for the caregiver. Some patients who live [00:17:14]and I'm actually currently writing a book in layman's terms of how we dealt with it and how he was brought up. He actually I'm really lucky to have him for 24 years. That's the main thing, is he mortality was a lot shorter than that. But because Canada has kids and they have the the most modern clinics that dealt with this particular syndrome and these clinics are very new. They're relatively new and not a lot of research done yet. So I donated some autopsy reports to the medical community. So in hopes that they share them among other doctors throughout the world, they'll be they will better understand what the repercussions are and what to look out for with kids with an extreme case of this syndrome. [63.1s] And they say a lot of parents, that sort of thing here, that syndrome is not the liquidation syndrome panic. That's the first and foremost thing here. Second reason was how to be eligible, how to get legible. And you still have that. But it was right up my alley. The point system in Canada helped me a lot because my chosen bread and butter had really strong points when it comes to immigration. I know a lot of people, they stay here for six months, a year and maybe even more doing survival jobs. But for me, it wasn't a choice I had to make. I had not the survival is not about survival quality. I had to be established. I had to be stable with the job and earnings so that I can deal with a lot of hurdles in the medical department. So I guess it's a different story from other other parents. Therefore, they came from other countries first and then they came here or they came from the Philippines. But the culture shock is still the same. It's a different culture, so different way of life. And I don't know. You just have to. Just have to. Deal with it, I guess. [00:19:59]That is a very tragic story. Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm very sorry to hear about your children and I'm glad your sons. You're doing all the stuff you can to heal from returning and even like donating up to two. The doctors and supplies are very helpful. And it's just nice to hear [27.3s] that after something that happened here. Like. [00:20:36]So how do you think things would have been different if we stayed in the Philippines? Well, in the Philippines I was already set, like the business was doing really well and I had to go. Turn my back on that. We had a lot of clients and already travel all over the Philippines, just setting up the system. So I did. Like I said, it was a not a rich. Life style, but I had enough to be three. I think that if I continued that it would probably have grown. A lot bigger. But it won't buy me the health for my child the way we did from here. I think the difference that the main difference is here. My son had all the health. That if we had it in facilities, like I said, a few. After a few surgeries, I will probably go bankrupt over there and then everything will go downhill. So that's one of the the most life changing decision that I ever made for my entire family. [83.1s] And the two girls, they also have their own issues, and that is that as a medical help for my son with my two girls, they have to grow with the loss and they have their own issues as well. Growing up in Canada and, you know, there's peer pressure here. It's a different atmosphere. What do you like actors on that, like your daughters to align with the situation? As long as you're dealing with a situation like my daughters was like, [00:22:33]how was your mental health like back then in the Philippines versus now? Okay, that's fair. There's always a playback mental health wise. I think after the two losses and after dealing with my two daughters have also their own issues that we addressed and we were able to do that. But of course, everybody's mental health was affected. For me after my daughter died, when my baby died in 24 days. I think that was the start of my collapse in my psyche, actually. And after my son. I think then when they put in the stent in his pulmonary valve, I think that's when I realized in so short. But. I think everything became challenging after that. So I had to get some time off work until I had to. I were very, very. With a disability. [70.2s] This. I was diagnosed with bipolar. After that, I was going haywire. I realized mental health is also a thing here in the Philippines. I was able to cope up because there's so much health. Everybody was around. I would ask everybody to do what they needed to do, and I was able to relax a lot of times maturing. I started blogging all that and more so was cooking, preparing the kids, going to my work. My work in the field, as you can imagine, is high stress, high stress job. And there's a lot of anxiety there and a lot of well, some of the managers are also voice mail that never goes away. And I think everything just crumbling down. [00:24:40]In 2000, then I was diagnosed with bipolar and I started thinking meds and getting educated. On top of that, I also was diagnosed with diabetes and which is another story on its own. So everything crumbling, though I still did everything I could and still tried to ignore it or push it back until I can no longer do that. So in 2015 I had to retire and the company offered me a severance package anyway. And my long term disability was approved. So that's why I retired very soon after 55. I'm retired, so I've been trying for five years now and mental health is a lot better now managed, but diabetes is also managed, I think insulin and now I'm dealing with other stuff. [63.8s] So I think it's fine to deal with my own. My kids are all grown. I have a granddaughter with from one of my daughters and my other daughter lives in St Catherine's now and she's working there on her own slow. And I have my daughter here with me, with my grandkids [00:26:05]for the girls. As far as the issues like your mental health as well, seeing that most of my time I've been dealing with the brother. And sometimes I don't forget about them, but they get into the second priority instead of the first. Until after the brother died. And then they started understanding what I was so worried about. You know, even the dads actually separated in 2003. This year, a relationship was really. Going down the drain before we even came to Canada was when I applied. I pretty much are dependent and he had more than his lending papers as well. So we decided something for all of us, and then we separated here. But she didn't even realize what his son had. And then he was surprised that his son died fairly young. So you would just like you would the children? Yeah. Was he around or around in such a way? Well, I had to. For some for child support. I do speaking support. [84.2s] He had a girlfriend of three months after we separated. The girlfriend was pregnant, and he said that they met the year before. And I told him. You should have just told me. One miserable parent is more than enough for kids. So miserable would be just overboard. So I said I was miserable as he He said he didn't attempt to get a job for two and a half years and he said he was going to have the kids, but he didn't think I was doing everything. I said, You know what? I can't do this. You want to be like that on your own. So I went after he found a job and then this person get pregnant, and then they started living together. So. It's not like getting anything. [00:28:24]But around. It's not too much action once in a while. Graduation, maybe. But it's not just kids. He would be there and then he won't be. So most of the most of the. Important. Milestones. For me. It was me and the kids. [23.8s] And milestones for them or any of the milestones that they've had birthdays, graduations, Christmases, Christmases, Mother's Day, Father's Day. That was all that. [00:29:05]Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that. It was just. That's a lot of responsibility and pressure on you and you are very strong for how to deal with that and not have somebody by your side. So I just wanted to say I. That's amazing. But also, I'm so sorry that you have to do that on your. [25.9s] And you're good. You did it using. I just what was like what was celebrations like for you with your family, like before your son died? Like, well, the celebrations And what was it like after your son died? Before my son died. I'm not really big celebrations. We go out for dinner. For lunch. Maybe that's it. But I did have big celebrations for their birthdays while they were growing up. Not all. Not every single birthday, but the milestones. Like a year old, seven years old, 13 years old. Know, 15, 18. Those were the milestone birthdays, Christmas. We actually have had big Christmases just opening the gifts and, you know, having Christmas dinner. That's when they were still kids and teenagers. But after that, they turned into adults would just be like, okay, you can go out. It's my birthday. Simple. It became simpler, but it was still did after my son died for a while. And because it was a COVID time anyway, he didn't die of loaded. He died of of complications in his heart. The autopsy said it just stopped because his heart was so enlarged he couldn't stand the pressure anymore. He just stopped breathing. And after that, because of the COVID, you weren't able to do much as well. So we just had simple meals at home or we would order Jollibee. That's like a special treat because it's expensive over here. But this year my two daughters began. So began organizing the celebrations. Mother's Day. They took me out for dinner, the buffet where they were traveling. Since they know I like certain birthdays. They would just send me some special dishes. That's also what I'd do on their birthdays. It's not as big as before. It's considerably. Simple. A lot simpler now. And they know that I'm not big on goals of celebrations, but we still do from time to time. Now we'll just see. Keep in touch. And the thing that I really do now, even before my son died, is every single day, every moment that I have a chance, I say I love you. And they say, I love you too, Mom. And they. Joshua, That's my son. I also did that long before he died. The same move. His health was deteriorating and wanted him to feel that. I really, really do care a lot for them that they're love. That's what I tell my social worker said many, many times. You found this while? Yeah, that's. That's good to hear that you were able to, like, realize that your time. And it's really touching to hear how much you love your kids, because I can even feel like I can't even see your face. But I do feel it from you. Also, the meeting is about to end so I can resume recordings that don't stop the audio recording. I'm going to end the reading right now and send you like a message. Broken record. So. Hello. Try again. Right. I ask if that recording is still going on. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for joining me. Okay. So I like. I really want to know more about this kind of journey from like. The Philippines with your family versus now your family and what you learned from that experience and your relationships with your kids and your your ex-partner relationships in the Philippines? I was the only one at that time who was away from my family there. We I was born up north and my business was done in the Central Visayas area. So that's a little bit south. And I was traveling all over the Philippines, like I said, for the business. However, my siblings all stayed up north for a little while until until the time when somebody went to Singapore and another one went to San Francisco doing their thing as well with their careers. And then the only time I really went home was first when my mom died. And then secondly, when my father died five years later. And I was told by our relatives that I only come home, somebody dies, and I says, that's not true. I can't I can't just up and go, I got kids. I got my career. I have my business. It's not easy to just in the Philippines if you have a business is 147 365 days a year. The only time that you get respite from all of that is will be when there's a two week holiday, which every year there was or one week holidays that nobody else wanted to do business. But those are good times. I instead of reflecting on anything. Those are the times when I catch up with my kids and and with my staff. One thing, though, that we did as a ritual during. The kids were growing and I only met two girls at the time. Still, there's a bit of this four years difference between my second and my son, the second daughter and my son. Every Sunday we will where we are. There's a lot of beaches and we love the water. Every Sunday we would go out early in the mornings and go to a beach resort, wait for the fishermen to come by some big crabs and some lobsters from them if they got through the day, and then that we would have them sitting. The. Seafood that we get, and then we would eat breakfast there first thing. And first we catch seafood and then play by the shores until maybe 10 a.m.. Then we took our showers. Then we would move to maybe a different cause. We went shopping, we go to a different sort and we have our lunch there. And then in a couple more hours, two or 3 p.m. in the afternoon, we would go to the Olympic swimming pool and that's where we stopped. Like after that we got the Budweiser's freshly steamed oysters and wonderful years almost every single Sunday. And my friends who are there, I got a lot of friends from that place. They would come, they would ask me what the morning in progress. They would come and they would ask what the specialty of the day is, and they would come along with us. And it was a nice it's a nice break. And we do that almost every single weekend. But the kids were really happy about that. Now, Max, he went to Saudi Arabia, but after maybe a year and a half when he came home, he saw that the business that I put up was prospering. So he decided to come home for good and help me out with the business. But like I said, our relationship was strange. He was where he used to work for the government. And I told him, like, there's no money to that position. He was up here now in the Philippines, if you were a government employee, that's usually the lowest grade, lowest paid. The salaries be the big benefits, but it was the lowest paid salaries. So I told him before the strike, your family, you should earn a little bit more than that. So you can help us with things like computer, school and much to the opposition from my parents and even our school administrators once they started paying with my paycheck for his solution. But when he joined me in the business, it became strained because. And she would not perform as I did. Maybe it was too much to ask, but within a ratio of, say, 5 to 50000, you have 5050 thousand. I would be able to negotiate the safety and he would be able to negotiate the five using that, doing the same amount of work that we did. And that wasn't really helpful. But he he is an animal and some people just can't sell their skills, I guess then he was one of those. I didn't really blame him for. I took everything in stride and did my best and support the family, which I did, or retired included. So there was that. And then when I bought a car, he knew how to drive. I didn't. And then when he was teaching me how to drive. You know, when you get a backseat driver, it's so hard to learn. So I asked one of my computer suppliers if he could if I could borrow his driver to teach me how to drive. Then one time, I think. I was backing, backing out, and I hit. I didn't really hit the the post just kind of slowly back into it because it was a fiber fiberglass bumper that was a little dense that you could actually just push out. But he was so mad about it, and I really didn't appreciate that he said this way, there shouldn't be any room and drivers. I think it was an affront to my being female and me earning a little bit more. And I'm thinking that was my car that I bumped into or something. But I but I didn't tell him that. You know, it's so difficult because there's two of us. And so you had two daughters in the ceremony and they were all literally competing with each other. It's never going to work. Yeah. And like, I don't want to put my own opinion on this, but I think. Like. Very clearly like. Just intensive care? I think so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Because this production, because you were doing amazing. They really found that you were having this business. Yeah. Yeah. Because of what you was earning in Saudi Arabia. To tell you the truth, wasn't nearly enough. Like I was. I was earning in my own way in the Philippines, running the business and building the systems that I did. Like I programed all the systems in a cell. So this is a businessman there. And I got this one client who had 55 branches all over the country. So I was bringing like four or five computers with systems in them, and there would be training staff and then 24/7 offsite on goal or if they really needed me to be there and transported me from where I am to where the branch is, it doesn't matter if it's north or south Central. He saw that and what he was sending. I was earning triple that in the month. What he would be sending in three months. So I didn't really belittle him railway as just doing this. But this sort of we can we can do it just doing the business, which you're doing so well. And that's the same thing when we came here. We had a job for six months and then it closed, the business closed. So he had another job. But I said maybe take a course and he did take a course. He was able to work for three months for for that, of course. And then he saw that it was the same for him being. I was. Promoted. So I started earning double what I used to earn. And then he saw that instead of just helping the kids, let's say at home, we can earn the income and see the bigger of them. But you didn't. You were sleeping. The kids of the times went home in the snow, all three of them from daycare because they same daycare in daycare. If you were late for a minute, you pay a dollar. So if I'm late for 3 minutes, for 10 minutes, I pay $10. And that's for child. Right. So at least that one, I was expecting him to since he was at home. Just go get the kids. A few times I found the kids were like by the door as he was sleeping upstairs. Then he complains her phone. We eat dinner very late in the evening. I wake up at five, I sleep at 11. I'm still on call. So if there was an issue with the systems, they would call me at two and resolve until three or four. And then I have to start over at 5 a.m.. Do a make breakfast, make lunches, get the kids up for the breakfast, get them ready for school. And then I would drop them off at daycare and I would drive myself to work, which a lot of once I was late because of that. Then I would take to the grocery when they got home, before I got home and the dishes would have done so I had to do the dishes and then make supper. By the time we will be like 9:00 and the kids would be so frustrated with homework. They were my children and some friends would just, I don't know. So the kids did mediocre in school at that time. And then he was complaining and I said, Oh, you did your part. Then we will be having this issue. You didn't like that one. There were a few holes on the walls after that. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So one day I said I can't. I took him out on a date, went to watch a concert, and then on the way home, we got. There was already have expressed. You just didn't want to say You should have told me if you're miserable as well. That's unusual. And if I'm doing it alone, then the gratitude will. Do you think that working abroad made any of these issues in your life, like even enhance or even like better? Like, do you think working abroad, like, played a part into the separation, the separation issues, like, like the stress or like running a business and like was actually almost the same? Yeah, it was almost the same because in the Philippines we already decided. I said, okay, I'll bring your papers. I'm bringing my kids to Canada. Is it I should come with you doing said you said because you need help with the kids. It was like that even then. Said, Yeah, but if you don't be separating, you're out because you're almost at that point of separation in the Philippines. Especially when our youngest was born and he can't handle he can handle the stress. I was just trying to understand what our son had and how to cope with it. And even the girls, their schooling. And he was saying, why are we enrolling them in the very expensive school? It's for the future and we can we can afford it anyway. But there's so there's a lot of. I think that was actually leading up to the the separation. But the biggest one afloat is the competition. I think. And that became more and more prominent over. We. Through the years, even leading up to when we came here. And then it was more apparent and pronounced the moment I got a job. The moment I landed a job here. So yeah, it should have been better here if he only got his part. And I'm still. I'm still. Then the thinking it would have worked out. It's just probably his mentality. Like a lot of Filipino men, especially from the background of him, they view women as servants almost as means that they were to serve him in the family all the time. Well, if you have a full time job that you can go on call every two weeks and have three kids and you have. One's with a special needs child that needs a lot of attention. And just taking the breaks from those was sacrificing sick days and now technician days just to bring him to his appointments. And so with the girls. Oh, that alone. No, no, he couldn't handle that kind of stress. That is a very powerful story to tell. And it's interesting to, like reflect back on it. Do you regret anything? I like doing regrets where I get to brag. Do you regret maybe not visiting the Help as much as anything? Any regrets? Not really, because actually, in the last few years, we played catch up during the COVID onset. For me and my siblings, we started touching base with each other again and talk about. Our childhood, how we view the world and viewed each other. So we were able to bring that out there and put it on the table. There are no holds barred. Every single thing that we thought about positive or negative about each other. So I think the family structure, it made us closer. Now, every Saturday during the COVID, we visit every night, but now that for our most pressing face to face. I would do it once a week, but we're still going strong as siblings. So for me, my family support is there and we keep in touch with touch base and tell stories about us, our kids. I think that that helps ease the burden on everybody because now we're able to talk about it as adults. We haven't been in touch for 30 years when we were being with one or the other seven of us siblings, but now we're doing everything we can to help every single week and say, I love you to each other, that I care. So we really have this bond now that we had when we were kids. So I think that helps really helps when we do want to bond. We didn't see each other for 30 years. There was an issue with one of our brother in law. He had kids with my sister who she was married to, and then we had kids with my other sister who is married. So for the longest time, those two sisters we were also caught in. My two sisters didn't talk for so many years. Of course, they had their own issues with each other. I think in 2015, my sister and my brother, the youngest ones, organized a reunion for everyone to be there and they sponsored my travel. I went to the Philippines for ten days, so only for maybe five days, two and a half days of travel one way. And it was there. We actually bonded, all seven of us for the first three years. Nobody was quite in between these two made up, but after that it was only like once a year there was a reunion. But during the pandemic, I think the things that, well, everybody was staying home. We had time. And then we can build our bond and start talking about. Or as. When we were kids and what happened during the 30 years in between. And then we were able to agree with not it out there. Even me, I said, I know a lot of stuff that you probably wouldn't understand. And that time then we said, okay, I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry I said that. It's not really it was amusing to say those kinds of things. And I think that brought us closer. It was there was one thing that the COVID outbreak did to us with a positive effect on our relationship and bonding. So now we're really bonded that now we can talk about how we have to help this sibling or that sibling as well. This is what just goes in and you're able to see honestly how we feel. So I think that's an unbreakable bond at this moment. Nobody is not talking to anybody just because. I see you have the seven of us. One brother and six sisters. So there are seven of us. I have six siblings. Is there anyone that you're closest to or with that story about your two sisters for you? Like, how much were you like, in the middle? Oh, definitely in the middle. I love them both and I respect them both. I was more angry at the guy, actually. Because he was older than both of them, and she could have had any other woman. That was my other sister. So with my sisters, I was just really caught in between when they were talking. And we've attempted so many times for them to talk to each other. But the time wasn't right. They were not in the places. And when they did reach a better place, that's when we were able to. Get them together again. And now? Now we talk. And even in our lives and the needs of each other. Which is good. So that if there was a thing that I regret this probably. I should have. Well, in hindsight, I should have just taken accounting or peachy because I ended up with accounting systems and teaching. Then I should have taken engineering, just like my sister in San Francisco. Cisco become an accountant or a systems analyst or business analyst. But does one. Well, back then, you didn't have any choice. We didn't have any money. They were all going through school, through scholarships. Every single one of us. And we were going through a tough time. Our parents separated. We have an alcoholic father, and we were left by our mom. So it was a difficult time. We were poor and underprivileged. I think that's the one thing that we appreciate. Right now, even the ones who are in the Philippines are having a good. Good life, a better life than what we had when we were kids. I will save you the most of your work. Or did you say three of us are abroad? One in San Francisco, This one in Singapore. My brother is one and everybody else is in the Philippines. One's a lawyer. The other is just retired. And he became the king of a prestigious university. The other one's a housewife. What's a housewife? She's in Saskatchewan right now. Care for grandkids. One saying the manager for a bank. Which is something that's, I think, the important thing. It's a far cry from where we were once in our lifetime. We're here and I'm really glad to hear that. You've all been bonding and kind of like healing from trauma together. Yeah, because that's like one thing that I wish for my siblings to reach a point where we can say to each other. I always think about like how much time and life like plays into. Like he will now say that like. How important is being patient and how important it is like waiting for the right time? It just comes actually when everybody's in the right place. Not necessarily a happy place, but in the right place. Then they become open, more open to for you. This I think you'll never forget. Forgive those your siblings, your blood. And at the end of the day, nobody else will. Love you like your simplicity. And I think that we forgot that for three years because we were just just looking hopeless. I thought this would never happen. We all thought it would never happen. So now our bond is much stronger because we were able to say things and we actually felt and like, how much weight is. So this is your family? They are the ones who are going to be left behind when the parents aren't there anymore. Or when one of you starts going to start dropping like flies. It's like it's a couple of things to say, but. I think because of the way we. So. Somebody. Sometimes, regardless of technology and advances in science, the body succumbs to health conditions. Sometimes you get hurt and then you die and you will die without having said your piece. I think that's what's important. Waiting for the right time. It took us years, actually. 20 years, I think. 45 years. It took us years. It wasn't easy. We were. The rest of us were caught in between. For a very, very long time. How does it feel like going back home now compared to before? Right now, it's actually welcome. It's a welcome break. Whenever I go home, it's always about family when I go home. It's a lot better now. We're all adults and we have our kids for adults. And now some of us have grandkids. So there's more there's more topics to share. They compare notes with. I think we're. It's it's easier now. I think you reach a point in time where you say, Hey, I'm middle aged. I go to do things differently. I go things my way, whatever I want. Right now. We didn't really reach our happy places until we were in our space. We spent. I'm the oldest of the lot, so sometimes the onus is on you to initiate something like I do. And then I suggest suggested for my two younger siblings because they have the means. Well. [01:07:00]So what do you think about Filipinos going abroad in general? In general with a lot of us going abroad? Yeah. I'm actually in China. I think that it is. Like there's a lot of Filipinos who dream of being abroad, being abroad, and actually being ready for it. Like two different things. But I think that more Filipinos I know ready for anything when they go abroad, because now there's a lot of a lot of Filipinos who have paved the way for the latter. Like the project that you're making or doing well gives a good view of experiences abroad. I think that it was good to the economy from there, and I think that this is one venture that would help any family over there get someplace else than what they have. There's still a lot of support in the Philippines, and once in a while you find a person whose story is from rags to riches. But it doesn't happen overnight. I just happened to have been prepared for a lot of years before I came because that was my goal. But there's a lot of them. I know lawyers, accountants, people here, and they flip burgers for a survival job, but unfortunately they stay there because they don't know how to move towards the right direction. But generally, I like I like the thought that especially the the health care. But we do have a lot of nursing students over there and doctors. And they come over here and they they do their job. The jobs in the health care system [124.2s] with a lot of people in the Middle East, or they are the overseas Filipino workers. They still suffer a lot from repression and abuse. But [01:09:23]overall, I think that they are actually heroes. For me, that's what we call them heroes so that they can help their families [11.5s] once in a while. Once in a while, we have a Filipino, a Filipino who made it and then never looked back and forgot about all the families over there. So I think that's the right thing to do and that's the right reason to be what happens. I think highly of them, especially those who go abroad and they come from the Middle East or they go on from Congo and then they try to come here. We're still of the Civil War over here. But I know there's a lot of Filipinos over here now. That's very true. Yeah, well, even I've heard about, like, working culture and working conditions in the Middle East, and it's not in favor of our culture. Do you have anyone closely related to you that has experience from there? From there? Yes. Actually, my stepbrother works there and he works in Saudi Arabia as a cook. But he has other things to worry about, like these kids in the Philippines, but sometimes, you know, from other cultures. It's either they are insecure or they think they're better than me. Which told you that that's only two reasons why you would get a movie that. They're so insecure about your skills. For. They think they're better than me. And I trust my brother and my stepbrother is a good cook. Otherwise, they would fire him. So I say just simply by getting in, well, some some other cultures or some other foreigners there. Sometimes they learn, they talk. I don't know if they stop, but they'll. Even if he was in a higher position. So I told him, just watch the body language. And so I tried to deal with it in the tone that. Just before. But I guess sometimes they just know. They just want him to get out there and resign. That's how he feels. And it's a place of. [01:12:15]Well, thank you, Jun, I. This is very nice to talk to you. I wanted to ask you like. What if you had, like, thoughts, like final thoughts about, like, what you wanted to be when you were younger and whether you fulfilled that and what you were, what you were when you're happy about right now. [21.6s] Well, like I said, I had many things that I wanted to be when I was younger. But I think that running a business was it's actually innate in my personality because that's how we played before we became very resourceful. I was playing bank banker manager, and we operate a bar or, you know, we make we had lots of papers in one paper, so I would make money out of that. And it was it's just running a business overall. I never became a nurse and never became within say, I never became a teacher because, ah, I trained software personnel. [01:13:29]Um, I think that and I'm glad for the path that I took. I don't have any regrets with that. The only real regret is that I should have waited, taking care of myself. That's what I did ourselves for a very, very long time. I think that's the only thing I wish I could have taken care of myself more. But, you know, when you're busy like that and you have kids to raise, you have a very, very challenging career. And sometimes yourself about yourself that goes through the window. And that's the only regret. I should have taken care of myself a little bit more. [48.3s] I think it's going to be one. Well, thank you so much for telling your story. I genuinely was very country for here, and I wish I really, truly wish the best for you. Yeah, we can. We can stop recording. Okay. Thank you for recording on your side. Okay. Well, again, thank you for telling your story. It's really difficult to be place like, just, like, really, really vulnerable. So I. Yeah. Again. Thank you. Okay. I hope [01:15:02]you have any questions or anything you want to say. Um, just for those. Those parents and immigrants when they come over. The survival jobs are good, but always have a goal. I think even if you miss the mark, you learn somewhere. So always, always have that goal in mind. Keep growing for something. Because that's my mantra. And if you can think it, you can do it. It's not. It should always be an impossible dream. It's doable. And I'm wondering that frame of mind then. Nothing can stop you from being who you want, from being where you want to be. [44.0s] That's one. That's very that's very inspiring. And we are in a place where there are issues of immigrants and immigrants, but. It's it's a nice mindset to look at, look like look at someone like you or a lot of strong Filipinos out there that have gone through all the issues. Sure, there were way more issues before. Now we're we're in this age where we have people trying to help and it's nice to hear that it's so doable and to be in that mindset because I feel like it can really be easy to be over. Overwhelmed would be a word I would use. It's easy to be overwhelmed. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. I also get overwhelmed. It's just maybe the coping mechanism. I really was coping mechanisms. I sing a lot and I got a lot one. Well, I guess I'll watch again. I hope to stay connected with you somehow. Okay. I am. I am. Right. Good. Ontario. Okay, so maybe we'll stay connected with you again. Okay. Thank you for the opportunity. Of course. And I will get back to you about the website and see that it's published and the documentary. Okay. And you can email me whenever you have more to say or anything like that. Okay. Will do. Yes. So all I can tell you more about instructions for sending the voice recordings. Okay. But. We should be done today. Okay. Thank you. I hope you have a really good day. And I hope you are taking care of yourself for now. Yes, you too.